Sure Thing

Flood Based Investment Strategy

Narrowly escape a deluge of child abuse, change your name and head to the airport as we ask "Where in the World is Roman Polanski?". Your buddy's out of prison selling hot pies.

 

Please DM us your IQ on Instagram.

 

http://surething.money

http://patreon.com/surething

Pump Rotation

We are lifting you out of your ketamine haze for a girl's weekend to space. Hurry up and get your thongs on, we've only got 45 minutes before we need to be back at your mother's.

 

Video on the Patreon

http://patreon.com/surething

http://surething.money

MSN Virgin

lol u up? rents rnt hme. u wna drnk drve 2 myn n freek owt n bolt b4 u cn nock on my door? wldnt it be so randm if u gt in our van n cam wit us 2 da farm? we hav drugs i promis itl be siii1ck!1 

no? lol k ttyl

 

Video eps on Patreon

https://www.patreon.com/surething

http://surething.money

Hotel Ibis

The Moon God is angry.

Somebody screwed up their audio, so Somebody Else had to spend 20 hours fixing it in the edit. Thank you for your patience.

Jeffrey Dahmer & Greg has finally come to life. See the trailer: https://youtu.be/a87iquHJpo8.

 

Watch Sure Thing with your eyes at our Patreon.

http://surething.money

Balinese Mod Chipper

Win a ticket to the Balinese mod shop, fire up the PS1 and stuff a baggie up your bum. Don't be a bad mule, we've racked up the fun and left you some.

 

http://surething.money

Barren Sharon

From hostile womb to chlorinated tomb, there has never been a better time to invest in foreign children. For just $1 per day or a couple of cigarettes, you could play parent to a future patent-making world leader, or mitigate your losses with some basic geo-location sleuthing. Your very own village to brothel is just bed, bath and beyond the horizon.

Tested positive for COVID an hour after recording this one. Appreciate your patience until I could get it up. Diligent fans may even catch a telling sniff or cough late into the ep.

 

See the show in video and support Sure Thing at our Patreon, join our stupid Discord, somebody made a subreddit and send death threats to us on Instagram.

http://surething.money

Rank (Verb and Adjective)

Fly in the face of height restrictions aboard a Bluetooth rocket ship heading to Mars. Anger is the fuel, a motivation, a tool. Train your camera in a last ditch attempt to capture a ghostly shadow - the shadow of your past towering enormous over an uncertain future. The pain of forgiveness and regret turn swiftly into love.

 

Full video is Patreon only.

http://surething.money

Cold-Cocked Milk Maid

The thin veneer of inclusivity invites the exploitation of the most marginalised. Commodify the vulnerable for the battlefield and sexualise the disenfranchised. Synergise a progressive marketing strategy with some deep fake nudes to leverage your signal of virtue and increase profits this quarter. TikTok, time's running out and the grain is too. 

We would like to state that Tate is a cuck and Wolfey's addiction to China's digital dissent weapon is being dealt with.

You can find Wolfey's appearance on Matt and Shane at: https://www.patreon.com/MSsecretpod

http://surething.money

Shooting Dogs in Heaven

Become the star attraction in the human zoo, Bane mask and all. If you look menacing enough, your soulmate might be just around the corner. No dogs in heaven, just dog meat in the fridge straight from the rainbow bridge - we're only falling deeper into an 18 month recession.

http://surething.money

Reading Phonetically in Public

Chew half a pack of cigarettes, your wife is going off the balcony at this corporate retreat. When AI takes all the good podcasting jobs, you'll be dreaming of $5 worth of fruit.

 

http://surething.money