Sure Thing
Tourette’s Bark Collar

Tourette’s Bark Collar

November 22, 2020

Knock-knock, I'm with Australian Solar Implants - can you spare a minute to jam this in your head? Christmas is around the corner, you asked for Cape Town and you're getting the Cape Town Flats. Try escape without getting your hand bitten off, or stand your ground, take off your shoes and fling an egg into the face of every alternative medicine practitioner.

 

It's not SUPERannuation unless it's invested at www.surething.money.

Too Many Nangs

Too Many Nangs

November 18, 2020

Sentencing is being handed down and we're hoping for at least 8 years. New business ideas and conspiracy theories resonate with a very impressionable man living in a state of mental flux. Kill your neighbour and assume their identity for the ultimate rent reduction. Illuminati explored and Glitterati is ignored, the Chinese death camps await. A surprise milestone at the $10k Patreon mark is announced and we have received several shockingly real applications to invest through http://surething.money. Give us your Super, Coward.

 

http://surething.money

Private School Smirk

Private School Smirk

November 11, 2020

Your cubicle is a coffin, you live in a postbox and 10% of your life is being stolen by Kogan. International sex crimes and dirty penis cleaning time - retirement's a lie and you might as well just jump into the hole with the rest of the drill.

 

http://surething.money

Coup de Ass

Coup de Ass

November 4, 2020

A golden tooth for a gilded man. It's Nesquik titties and abused, limp kiddies, flinging sand into the eyes of the Royals and a sharp turn left as we decide it's time to start redistributing the wealth now that we don't have any. We've waived the height restriction, so hurry up and hook yourself up to the giant ventilator with all your fishing village girlfriends. Die Piscasso or live retardo? Flip a coin and pray for head, but you're going under either way for the haircut of a lifetime.

 

http://surething.money

https://discord.gg/ZHhkccn

https://www.patreon.com/surething 

Pyramid Schematics

Pyramid Schematics

October 26, 2020

All profits from Sure Thing Podcast Pty Ltd will be used for chaos. It's a $1000 a day bender propped up by a pyramid scheme and enforced by gang of losers in cool jackets - we're hooked up to an MDMA drip to avoid a comedown. Inadvertent skull crushing as the 3 step program takes 12 steps back. Grab a vibrating stick and help us bash every ounce of what will hopefully be recognised as irony from your hot chicken.

 

https://discord.gg/ZHhkccn

https://www.patreon.com/surething

Duhkha

Duhkha

October 21, 2020

This is Episode 14. Andrew has lost his family, his position and now he has managed to lose Episode 13 of this horrible little podcast as well. Claiming to be Icarus but more akin to Danny DeVito as the goat man in Hercules, there is no reception among the clouds which means nobody can call to warn you that you're actually hurtling back towards the ground. A schooner is thrown, a whale is poked, the dreams of a hapless duo disintegrate, dusty between clutching fingers. Burn the ecolodge to the ground to kill all the spiders, because riffs lost may never be recreated.

 

We have an unutilised Discord for dice rollers, and we discuss how we are to gamble Patreon money (thanks to Hank).

https://discord.gg/ZHhkccn

https://www.patreon.com/surething

The MSB Episode

The MSB Episode

October 11, 2020

Birth. Sorrow. Separation. Wanting. Clinging. These are the sutras of duhkha and, according to the charts, we are 40% of the way to ridding ourselves of any remaining shred of ego. Rip the ventilator out or live long enough to realise you died in your cubicle. This is the MSB episode.

Eating Extra Coconuts

Eating Extra Coconuts

October 11, 2020

Evicted from the house and eliminated from the island, Wolfey talks about not getting let on this season of Big Brother. The producers say the psych evaluation is bad and we've tested positive for rheumatoid arthritis after years of being being punched in the face. You are the secondary character, smashing your kids' piggy bank for more IKEA hotdogs. Fold out the cot, we're sleeping in the office tonight to keep an eye on all those green charts. This is not the MSB episode.

Charlie and the Chocolate Wheel Pty Ltd

Charlie and the Chocolate Wheel Pty Ltd

September 30, 2020

A piercing ring echoes out through the night, a howling rhythmic scream that serves as backdrop to the visage of the boys danger dancing with ASIC. Your DNA is on file and the dogs can smell your hereditary predisposition for failure. Doomed to repeat the mistakes of your ancestors, you must trash your loved ones to beat the HFT shorts. The treasure hunt is set to become real as we incorporate the chocolate wheel gambling podcast into a viable profit-churning entity, trading virtual Beanie Babies and taking a 30% brokerage fee for the trouble. Pony up your life savings and get your bite of the burger, you reptile-owning ostrich-eater. We go to war with plumbers once again.

TikTok Shotgun/Trading Shogun

TikTok Shotgun/Trading Shogun

September 23, 2020

Watt's happening, Folks? It's that time of the night - put your hands together and welcome Chicken Liver to the stage for the last time, closing out by leveraging Jesus for a final performance before returning to the void on the way home. This week's corporate retreat is a delight for the senses sure to create a few exes. Leave your wife at home, she's taking it in the divorce anyway, spike a pint glass into the pool and experience some shitty miracles. Honesty is killing you. You have to drill deeper to find the strength to achieve success.

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