Sure Thing
GME-asy Peasy

GME-asy Peasy

February 22, 2021

Short-squeeze yourself into a pair of dancing shoes and join us on the fire truck to get yourself a haircut. $800 tuck-ins for bedtime - we revolutionise public services to generate extra profit and commercialise what remains of society's heroes. Wait until your final moments before attempting a last-minute grab at the life you should've had.

Quit your job, eat your family, surething.money.

Paging Dr. Locksmith

Paging Dr. Locksmith

January 24, 2021

Is there a Doctor onboard? Paying for sad dates with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles credit card and screaming as we leave the runway. Alan Watts said it couldn't be done, but if you throw your parents under the bus you might just be able to get away with insider trading. Expressing the breast milk for your new ice cream business - leave one in the bowl while you listen to this episode for good fortune.

www.surething.money

 

Intro music created by H-Pizzle.

I Miss Susan

I Miss Susan

January 13, 2021

You're the bull in the ornamentals shop, the relationship is breaking down and everybody has taken a bet with low odds that you're not getting the kids. Delivering CBT right into your ears this episode to the background of the fattest bass drop of everything embarrassing thing you've ever accidentally said out loud. Hold your kids under water until their hands become so prune-y that no psychic could ever possibly do an accurate psalm reading.

Now streaming the 10 hour editing process and live episodes to almost no viewers at twitch.tv/surethingpodcast. Sure Thing is an irony podcast and our true views and values mirror yours exactly. Peace, Love and Unity, Siberia, the place to be.

http://surething.money.

 

Intro music created by H-Pizzle.

ASX:A2M (Ass 2 Mouth)

ASX:A2M (Ass 2 Mouth)

January 2, 2021

We've only just gotten patched in and we're already having microsleeps on our big boy bikes. Set off the fireworks cos it's the first episode of a New Year featuring fresh opportunities to invest in a babychino direct from the almond's Double Fucken' Ds, a couple sniffs of the worst Darren Sadblokes your X-Defacto's ever heard and one of us works really hard to prove that a separation isn't always unfair on the man. Slap, smash, and leave on a roll: Duhka Devils forever, www.surething.money.

 

Intro music created by H-Pizzle.

NASDIQ

NASDIQ

December 31, 2020

Contrary to popular belief, depression, anxiety and suicide rates don't increase during this holiday season, they are just high all year round. Can't wait till my balls drop tonight!

 

www.surething.money

 

Intro music created by H-Pizzle.

Full Metal Jackoff

Full Metal Jackoff

December 14, 2020

Sharpened teeth and anal fishhooks on a trampoline of dreams. Wolfey gets off the phone at 1:03:42.

www.surething.money

 

Intro music created by H-Pizzle.

Sperm in a Bag

Sperm in a Bag

December 6, 2020

It's a Great Leap Forward, hacking up our culture and questioning a few others. Never looking back, always looking forwards to a simulated future where all outcomes are miserable. Neck a Fruity Lexia and deepfake a smile through all the weddings, market shifts and dig deep down inside yourself until you hit that hot, black yolk. If you were truly related to Napolean you wouldn't be such a coward.

 

Invest in www.surething.money.

 

Intro music created by H-Pizzle.

Tourette’s Bark Collar

Tourette’s Bark Collar

November 22, 2020

Knock-knock, I'm with Australian Solar Implants - can you spare a minute to jam this in your head? Christmas is around the corner, you asked for Cape Town and you're getting the Cape Town Flats. Try escape without getting your hand bitten off, or stand your ground, take off your shoes and fling an egg into the face of every alternative medicine practitioner.

 

It's not SUPERannuation unless it's invested at www.surething.money.

 

Intro music created by H-Pizzle.

Too Many Nangs

Too Many Nangs

November 18, 2020

Sentencing is being handed down and we're hoping for at least 8 years. New business ideas and conspiracy theories resonate with a very impressionable man living in a state of mental flux. Kill your neighbour and assume their identity for the ultimate rent reduction. Illuminati explored and Glitterati is ignored, the Chinese death camps await. A surprise milestone at the $10k Patreon mark is announced and we have received several shockingly real applications to invest through http://surething.money. Give us your Super, Coward.

 

http://surething.money

 

Intro music created by H-Pizzle.

Private School Smirk

Private School Smirk

November 11, 2020

Your cubicle is a coffin, you live in a postbox and 10% of your life is being stolen by Kogan. International sex crimes and dirty penis cleaning time - retirement's a lie and you might as well just jump into the hole with the rest of the drill.

 

http://surething.money

 

Intro music created by H-Pizzle.

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