Sure Thing

Charlie and the Chocolate Wheel Pty Ltd

A piercing ring echoes out through the night, a howling rhythmic scream that serves as backdrop to the visage of the boys danger dancing with ASIC. Your DNA is on file and the dogs can smell your hereditary predisposition for failure. Doomed to repeat the mistakes of your ancestors, you must trash your loved ones to beat the HFT shorts. The treasure hunt is set to become real as we incorporate the chocolate wheel gambling podcast into a viable profit-churning entity, trading virtual Beanie Babies and taking a 30% brokerage fee for the trouble. Pony up your life savings and get your bite of the burger, you reptile-owning ostrich-eater. We go to war with plumbers once again.

 

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Intro music created by H-Pizzle.

TikTok Shotgun/Trading Shogun

Watt's happening, Folks? It's that time of the night - put your hands together and welcome Chicken Liver to the stage for the last time, closing out by leveraging Jesus for a final performance before returning to the void on the way home. This week's corporate retreat is a delight for the senses sure to create a few exes. Leave your wife at home, she's taking it in the divorce anyway, spike a pint glass into the pool and experience some shitty miracles. Honesty is killing you. You have to drill deeper to find the strength to achieve success.

 

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Intro music created by H-Pizzle.

Gus's Gumboot Gully

Spit into the mirror but never reflect long enough to remember that you're the root of all your problems. Reach nirvana with the power of shadenfreudening your own position, even a giant sweater can come apart by tugging on a single thread for long enough. Deputy Wolfey finally diversifies, Josh liquidates his feelings. Identifying the scams running rampant in small towns all over the world culminates in unity through music. Bash your dog, cut the phone lines, you sell gum boots.

 

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Intro music created by H-Pizzle.

Ground Down to the Root

Robot Boy goes in for faulty dump pipe, teeth are being ground into dust faster than margin future positions are being liquidated and we're wide-eyed all night with the halogens piercing into the deep recesses of our brains. Mainly a discussion on chemicals with a brief interlude on chomos. 

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Intro music created by H-Pizzle.

Plumber's Snake Charmer

Cast your net from bridge of opportunity into the nighttime of an endlessly ignorant future. If you listen through you'll get to hear a man nearly cry. Class warfare starts tonight.

 

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Intro music created by H-Pizzle.

A Fish Slammed Into a Dustbin

Clean all the sand you dirty little snail, the locusts are here - it's not a beautiful mind and you're not John Forbes Nash, it's a disgusting nightmare, you're John Forbes' Gash and you're forever trapped behind the glass, staring out at a room full of people you respect laughing directly into your stupid snail face. We are screaming downwards today as the margin closes in, and the only possible future position is snotty, weepy begging on your knees.

 

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Intro music created by H-Pizzle.

Drive Forward Into the Snow Where Wealth is Created

Returns are diminishing but aggression is at an all-time high. You can't burn bridges if you don't have enough gasoline - siphon the fuel from Nigel's Camry and slash his tyres to make it look like somebody broke into the underground car park during lunch.

 

www.surething.money

 

Intro music created by H-Pizzle.

Sell MSB Buy HMC

Get out of stem cells, and shoot off some sperm cells - invest a Honda Civic into a lamp post and take the eternal drive.

A Registered Broker

It's all upside, Baby. From 250 to 320k in one week. Andrew Wolfe cannot lose. Mesoblast FOREVER.

 

www.surething.money

 

Intro music created by H-Pizzle.

Past Performance is Not an Indicator of Future Results

Candlesticks go "wee".

 

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Intro music created by H-Pizzle.